Monday, January 5, 2015

IVF Cycle #1 Has Commenced!

"Finding Yellow" by Brittany Juravich on Flickr

It’s getting real! I started stims last night (Follistim and Menopur). I was expecting it to sting but OMG it hurt! A few people have mentioned letting the Menopur sit for a few minutes before the injection, or to pause part way through the injection itself to help with the burning sensation. I'll be trying these tricks out tonight to see if it helps at all. If not, then I’ll just have to suck it up and keep in mind what I’m doing this for.

The physical stuff isn't that bad. I can deal with it. Ya, it’s a pain (literally) but it will be worth it in the end. What I'm really struggling with is that a part of me keeps looking forward and wondering if this will actually work. And part of me wonders if I deserve to be a mother. Like, maybe I've done something wrong, or will do something wrong, so I’m being punished. Or maybe I’m meant to be unhappy and feel incomplete the rest of my life.

I hate this, because the logical part of me knows that I’m no different from any one else who has become a parent. My journey is just taking a little longer and is a bit more complex. But that doesn't mean I don’t DESERVE it.

So that’s something I’m going to be focusing on and trying to use positive affirmations over the next few weeks.

I am worthy of love.

I will be a great mother.

This CAN happen to me.

And I will allow this to happen.

My past does not predict my future.

I have a child waiting for me.

And 2015 is MY year.

Do you use any positive affirmations? What are they?


  1. Good luck and thanks for the update! I am a few days behind you so it's nice to know what to expect! I start the burn on Thursday!

    1. Hopefully it's not that bad for you! I'm going to try icing it to see if that helps any. If this works it will be totally worth it!

  2. Menopur is the worst! Hoping and wishing this is THE cycle for you!

  3. Good luck! My positive affirmation is that I'm going to try everything I can in 2015 and really hope it will happen this year