I've been gone a while, and I apologize. I've missed this space and I keep wanting to turn back to it, but I have so much going on at the moment and it's difficult to find time. But here I am! I've been thinking about this post for a while and now it's finally time to get it out of my head and into the blogosphere.
I've been receiving a lot of questions lately along the lines of "Will you adopt again?" And my answer has been, "I don't think so." After all, the situation with Aria kinda fell into my lap. We weren't planning on pursing adoption, but when the opportunity came up we couldn't turn it down. And it's been the best choice we've ever made.
I'm not opposed to adopting another baby. I think it would be wonderful and we would be so grateful to share our home and our love with another precious little one. But to be honest, at this moment, my heart is full and we are happy with a family of three. All we ever wanted was to share our hearts with a child we could call our own, and now that we have that, I feel complete. That's not to say that I won't ever want another one, but for now we are fulfilled and happy.
With that in mind, I'm constantly thinking about how this will be the last time for everything. The last time our baby learns to rollover, or crawl, or gets her first tooth. Right now is the youngest that she'll ever be, and it's very bittersweet. I cannot take this for granted, because these moments will soon pass and my baby will grow up. Each new stage is exciting, but I'll miss the newborn stage, and soon I will miss this stage, and every one thereafter.
So I'm living in the moment, and enjoying every little bit of her at this age. Because she's growing so fast! It makes me sad sometimes; I would stop time in this moment if I could, just to hold her and feel her little body pressed against my chest. To smell her hair and listen to her coo. It's the best feeling in the entire world, and I'm so lucky that I get to experience this after all we've gone through.
Of course we can't know what the future holds, and in a year's time my mind and my heart may want to pursue adoption or further infertility treatments. But right now I'm not thinking about it. I'm so happy with my baby girl and our little family, and all of the experiences that I've been blessed with that were once nothing but a dream.