Resolve Awareness Video - The Future is Bright

I'm so excited to finally share this with you guys!!! I was asked to participate in an awareness video for Resolve, the National Infertility Association.  It was a difficult interview, but I am honored to lend my voice to Resolve alongside fellow bloggers and advocates in this community.  Take a look and let me know what you think!

#GiveHope for #GivingTuesday

Image courtesy of Resolve.org

It's the time of year when everyone is shopping like crazy. Purchasing decorations, gifts, food, wrapping paper, and more gifts. So much time and money is spent on giving to others, but primarily to people we know. Our family, loved ones, friends, and coworkers. We give them gifts and cookies and cards. We spoil those around us as a way of showing how much we care.

But isn't the holiday season meant to be more than that?

I'm not saying that gift-giving during the holidays is a bad thing. It's wonderful and I wish I could do more to give to those I love. But the holidays are also about giving back. Helping those in need. Lending a hand to people who have been neglected by the system. Supporting those who are struggling.

And that's what #GivingTuesday is all about. It's about giving back to organizations and non-profits in our communities. It's about giving hope to those who are suffering.

That's why I'm donating to Resolve.org on #GivingTuesday. As a member of the infertility community, Resolve has helped me by being an advocate for my rights, and by providing local support groups. They are a part of my community and my support system. And I hope that they can continue to do so for many years to come.

#GivingTuesday takes place on December 2nd. Let's show the world that the holidays mean more to us than a new sweater or pajama gift set. We have an opportunity to make a huge impact to the organizations that support those in need. We can give the gift of hope.

Which organization will you be donating to on #GivingTuesday?

Related Posts:
Walk of Hope 2014

#GiveThanks: Gratitude

Photo courtesy of marynbtol

Thanksgiving has become more than just 1 day of overeating, stretchy pants, and cranberry stains. It has turned into a month long celebration of thanks and gratitude. It's become the time of year when most of your friends are posting to Facebook every day with something they're thankful for.

I think gratitude is a beautiful thing, but it's also a very challenging thing. Especially when you are fighting something that's difficult and life changing. Sometimes it's hard to see past the challenge and remember that even though we haven't received our heart's desire, we are still blessed in other ways.

I don't have the family that I want, yet. But I do have an amazing family. I'm grateful to my husband who is there for me and supports me in everything I do. He sticks by me even on my darkest days, and I'm so grateful to have such an amazing man to call my husband and best friend.

I'm blessed with an amazing mom and sisters who care about my journey and support me. They are genuinely curious about what I'm going through and want to understand me on a deeper level. And I'm so very lucky to have that. I know a lot of people who don't.

And I'm thankful for the friends I've made and the support I receive from people who I've never even met. These women are there for me in a way that no one else can be, because they are living it just as I am. They know the darkness and they don't shy away from it. They provide a safe haven when I feel like I'm going crazy.

Lastly, I'm thankful for Resolve.org for being a voice in the infertility community to so many women who feel stigmatized and aren't uncomfortable speaking for themselves. Resolve is such an inspiring organization and I hope to volunteer more of my time to further their efforts of advocacy and support.

Gratitude is something I need to work on and to make a conscious effort to remind myself of on a daily basis. I've tried to turn my daily prayers into a list of things I'm grateful for, instead of a list of things I want. It has helped me feel more at peace knowing that even if things don't work out the way I expect them to, I'm still blessed in so many ways.

What are you thankful for this year?

Related Posts:
5 Reasons I'm Grateful for Infertility
#GiveVoice Part 1: Top 5 Reasons Infertiles Keep Their Journey a Secret
#GiveVoice Part 2: Top 5 Reasons You SHOULD Share Your Infertility Journey

The Cost of Infertility

Resolve to know more about infertility...

www.resolve.org/niaw

Infertility is honestly one of the hardest things I've had to go through in life. Infertility is a trauma. It's a silent and invisible disease that most people don't understand. And it involves one of life's major rites of passage; becoming a parent. For most people, this happens without even thinking about it. They get pregnant with no planning or forethought. It just happens.

For the other 10% of couples, it doesn't "just happen". Many of us deal with hormone imbalances that can't be cured through "relaxing". Some of us have physical issues, like septums, blocked tubes, or endometriosis, that all require invasive surgery to correct. And to top it all off, most insurance plans don't cover ANYTHING related to infertility. So what are our options?

We can chose to live life child-free. This is the most heartbreaking option, because for some it's not a choice. We can pay thousands of dollars for treatment that may or may not work. Or we can just "wait and see" with our fingers crossed that we conceive naturally. For some couples, they will eventually conceive on their own. But for many, the only options are Advanced Reproductive Technologies (ART).

ART includes IUI, IVF, or surrogacy. IUI is the cheapest, but can still take a chunk from your wallet depending on meds. My IUI last year cost us about $1,000. IVF can cost about $15,000 per fresh cycle, plus the cost of meds. And then there's surrogacy. With a surrogate, you would need to do IVF,  plus pay for agency fees, attorney's fees, screening and surrogate fees, and medical and insurance costs, all of which could add up to $80,000 to $120,000. 

What about adoption? Well, that's not an easy decision to make. Personally, I'm not ready to give up having biological children. And financially, we just couldn't afford adoption. It could cost anywhere from $20,000 to $40,000, or more, to adopt a child. In addition to the financial cost, you must also consider the emotional risk. What if the birth mom changes her mind? Or what if you don't meet the standards for adoption because you are not very religious or your home doesn't meet requirements? It can be just as heartbreaking as a failed IVF cycle.

My point is this: when dealing with infertility, you are faced with one of the most difficult decisions in your life. How will I become a parent? The answer is different for everybody. Most couples never have to struggle with this question. But those who do find themselves at a crossroads, with hard choices that can lead them down a path of debt, disappointment, or both. 

In addition to the financial cost of infertility, there is an emotional one as well. Infertility is one of the most challenging and emotionally traumatic experiences of our lives. It has changed me forever. And when we finally get the family we've dreamed of, whether by chance, ART, or adoption, all of the pain and uncertainty will be worth it. The scariest part, though, is not knowing if we will ever get to that point. Not knowing if we will ever be a mother and father. Not knowing how much longer we will have to wait. But with that uncertainty is a glimmer of hope that life might eventually feel complete.

This is why there is a need for legislation to support the infertility community. The costs of ART alone can prevent some couples from becoming parents. Shouldn't everyone have a choice to get treatment? Many of the issues that cause infertility are no different from a thyroid disorder or birth defect that are covered by insurance, so why is infertility alone a reason to deny coverage? It's not fair and it's wrong. We need support to get through this, and the financial aspect is the most daunting and difficult part for many of us without coverage. We have got to speak up and have our voices heard, that's the only way we can promote change and make a difference in the lives of the infertiles who come after us. I look forward to the day when infertile couples have options that are covered by insurance and have an equal opportunity to seek the treatment they need to become parents.

Helpful links:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html

Walk of Hope 2014

This morning I attended the Walk of Hope event in Scottsdale. This is an annual event put on by Resolve to raise awareness and donations for infertility. It was comforting being around so many other men and women who are or have been in our shoes. It was also great to see so many children running around the event! To know that most of those children are the result of fertility treatments is amazing and truly inspiring.

This event is partially the reason why I decided to "come out" of the infertility closet. And the fact that it's been about 3 years now and I'm tired of hiding it and making excuses when people ask "So when are you going to have kids?" I want people to understand what I'm going through, or at least educate them on what it's like to be infertile and how common this disease really is. I'm not going to make a huge announcement on Facebook or anything like that. Instead I'll just start posting informative or inspirational quotes or graphics on my social media sites. Hopefully I can raise awareness and I might even discover some friends that are going through the same thing in silence.

I'm glad I finally made it to this point on my infertility journey. I'm realizing that this struggle is making me a stronger person, and that I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Everyone has a different journey in life and struggles that they have to overcome. Infertility happens to be one of mine. And I'm tired of hiding something that takes up so much of my life. It's something I'm constantly thinking about. And I've been living it every single day for almost 3 years. It's about time that I come out of my shell and risk a little bit of bad advice. I hope I gain some more followers and raise awareness among my family and friends. You never know who you are going to inspire if you remain silent about your struggle.

Other than that big decision, Daniel and I have been trying again and crossing our fingers, arms, and toes that we will finally get our BFP! Since my cycles are back to normal now, we decided to try "naturally" until July/August and if we still aren't pregnant by then, to go back to the fertility center to look at our options.

And last but not least, here are some photos from the Walk of Hope today: