6 Items Every Infertile Should Own (or at least try!)

When you first realize that you're having difficulty getting pregnant, you probably feel overwhelmed and a little bit lost. I remember feeling like there was a wealth of information out there that I had to dig through to find an answer to our problem. But through that digging and connecting with other women in similar situations, I found there were several key items that any infertile or serious TTC'er needs. So here's my list of the helpful products you'll need to take you to the next level of TTC.

1. Taking Charge of Your Fertility
This book is probably the single most important investment you will make on your journey trying to conceive. You will learn more about fertility in this book than you ever did in high school Sex Ed, I guarantee it. This book is particularly useful if you are going to start BBT (basal body temperature) charting.

2. BBT Thermometer
The first thing you'll need if you are going to start charting, is a BBT thermometer. These are typically more accurate than normal thermometers because they will give you your temps to the .01 degree, so it's easier to see subtle temperature shifts. Taking your temps at the same time every day will allow you to pinpoint when ovulation occurs. But this tool will only confirm that ovulation has occurred 3 days after the fact. In order to get a heads up that ovulation is approaching, you'll also need to use OPK's.

3. Wondfo OPK's or Clearblue Fertility Monitor
OPK's are Ovulation Prediction Kits. Chances are if you're having a hard time TTC, you will go through OPK's like crazy! The Wondfo OPK's are the brand I use and they are super cheap. You have to pee in a cup and then dip the strips for a few seconds, so they are not as easy to use as the "regular" kind you buy at the store, but they are so much more economical and you can buy them in larger quantities. They will turn positive 12-48 hours before ovulation so you can time intercourse better.

The Clearblue Fertility Monitor is a VERY expensive option, but it is reusable and you can keep it for years and even use it for natural family planning. I've personally never used it but I have several friends who have and they love it.

4. Pre-seed or Conceive Plus
If you ever use lube, this is the kind you will need to purchase when trying to get pregnant. These 2 brands are "sperm friendly" and can actually provide a safer, nourishing environment for the sperm to thrive on their journey to the egg. Personally I use Pre-seed but Conceive Plus is basically the same thing, so it's just a matter of preference.

5. Softcup
For those of you who put your legs in the air for 15-30 minutes after "baby dancing" (which I'm sure is most of you!) then this product might be a good one to try. Basically you slip it in after doing the deed and it holds all of the "swimmers" right up against your cervix. You can leave it in for several hours or even overnight. So you don't have to worry about putting pillows under your hips or doing a headstand. Just use these and you can get right up after sex and go about the rest of your day!

6. The Infertility Workbook or the IVF Journal
Infertility is tough. There is a lot that you have to go through and most people don't understand the stress and grief that you're inevitably feeling. That's why it's so important to have some kind of outlet, whether it be a journal, blog, or an online forum where you feel safe to discuss the stress and trials of TTC. These two items are self-guided but a regular journal or notebook would work great too.
I have not used The IVF Journal yet, just because I haven't done IVF yet. But I do plan on using this as a tool during IVF and have heard a lot of good things about it.

Are there any items I missed here? Feel free to comment below!


(Disclaimer: All of these products are tied to Amazon Affiliate links, and I will earn a small commission if you purchase through these links, at no extra cost to you. I have personally used all of these products unless otherwise stated.)

5 Reasons I'm Grateful for Infertility

I know what you're thinking. "Why would you be grateful for infertility?!" Don't get me wrong, infertility sucks. I've been dealing with it for almost 3 years now. But with time comes wisdom, and there are a few things (I could only think of 5!) that I can honestly say I'm grateful for in terms of my struggle with infertility. Not all women struggling with this may feel gratitude for these things, and that's okay! If anger is the only emotion you feel, that's okay. But I hope that I can provide a unique perspective with my short list of things to be grateful for during this difficult time.

1. I've learned more than I ever wanted to know about my body
I learned more about my body in the first year or 2 of trying to conceive than I ever did as a student in sex ed. There are just certain things nobody likes to talk about! Such as, cervical mucus! I never realized what that junk was! Or what was considered normal, or even fertile cervical mucus. Now I'm jealous of my younger self and the plentiful CM I used to have!

I've also learned to understand my body in ways I never did before. Through bbt charting and using OPK's I've learned to pinpoint ovulation and come to understand the slight ache or cramp I feel when the egg is released. Prior to infertility, I would have thought it was gas! But now that I've come to know the signs that are unique to my body, I have a much better idea of what those slight feelings or changes in my body represent.

2. The bond between my husband and I has grown stronger
This may not be true for every couple, but infertility has definitely brought me closer together with Daniel. I think a large part of that is we each have something "wrong" with us. So there is no blame. We support one another and understand that it's nobodies fault. And don't get me wrong, blame is never okay when it comes to infertility. But I understand that in some situations that might be a difficult emotion to avoid.

I've also realized just how badly Daniel wants to be a father. He's done multiple blood tests, semen analyses, has taken a multitude of vitamins and supplements, and even had surgery to improve our chances of conceiving. Every now and then I hear about a husband that refuses to get tested, probably out of fear that any negative result would diminish his manhood or something. So I'm very grateful that Daniel has never let that get in the way of our diagnosis or treatment.

3. I've realized just how lucky pregnant women truly are
Had I gotten pregnant within 3 months of trying, I'm sure I would have a VERY different perspective on pregnancy. I believe that this struggle changes us, in some good ways and bad. But fundamentally it changes the way we view pregnancy. Almost every woman dealing with infertility will get frustrated when she hears a pregnant woman complain about her pregnancy, or when she says something like "I wish the baby would come early so I can get this over with". I know women who have lost pregnancies in the 2nd or 3rd trimester. Do you think those women would complain about swollen ankles or back aches if they someday make it to full term and deliver a healthy baby?

When I get pregnant, I'm sure I will find things to complain about. But more than anything, I will be GRATEFUL for the morning sickness. I will be grateful for the aches and pains. For the weight gain and stretch marks. Because all of that means that this struggle will soon come to an end, and that my dream of having a baby is finally coming true.

Infertility definitely puts things in perspective, and I'm sure this is the universal truth: any infertile woman would sacrifice just about anything to achieve pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby full-term.

4. I've met some incredible women dealing with infertility
In February of 2012 I came across a website called Babycenter.com and there I found a community of women at every stage of fertility, infertility, pregnancy, and beyond. I found a group for those dealing with infertility and that was the biggest turning point in this journey for me. I learned SO MUCH from these women! More than I've learned from any doctors. These women not only have researched and lived through it, they give support that only a fellow infertile woman can provide. And it's truly priceless.

5. I've become an advocate for my own health
I've learned that not all doctors know what they're talking about. An OB/GYN is the expert on pregnancy, but are they experts on infertility? In most cases, absolutely not! Things that they would say are "normal" can actually be signs that there is a bigger issue that could potentially prevent a pregnancy.

In my 3 years of TTC, I have seen 1 OB/GYN, 2 fertility specialists, and 1 gynecological surgeon. Through my research and advice from fellow infertiles, I have learned to be my own advocate and not to take everything a doctor says as the truth or as the only way things can be addressed. And this is something that can be transferred to all other areas of my life! Being your own advocate is the BEST way to solve any health issues, especially if you are seeing a doctor that thinks it's "normal" or recommends a treatment plan that you're not comfortable with. Educating yourself is the best solution, and getting a 2nd or 3rd opinion should not be the exception to the rule.


So there you have it! My short list of things to be grateful for when struggling with infertility. Sometimes it's important to see the silver lining, even when you're in the middle of a downpour.

Making progress!

Before I had the hysteroscopy, Daniel and I decided that we would take a few months "off" of TTC so I could give my body and mind a break. And I should clarify, by taking the past 3 months "off" just means that we haven't been doing my typical routine of OPK's, temping, etc. But that doesn't mean it's been off of my mind by any means. The question has been lingering in my head, "What's next?"

So Daniel and I talked it over and we finally scheduled an appointment with a Urologist on May 6th. The doctor he will be seeing specializes in male infertility so I'm confident he'll find what's wrong. I am SUPER excited!!! I'm just so grateful that Daniel is finally ready to take a step forward and hopefully get some answers. We both hope that whatever is causing his low motility and morphology will have a quick fix. We both think it could be a varicocele, which would require a minor surgery and Daniel would have to take some time off to recover. But he says he's willing to do whatever it takes. I'm so happy that he feels as ready for this as I do; it would be so much harder if he didn't.

And I've been giving more thought on my septum and having a 2nd surgery and I've decided that I'm not going to worry about it for now. I've heard so many stories of women having babies WITH a septum as big as mine was. I'm hoping that now it's much smaller that my chances of having any pregnancy complications will be much less. I don't want to put my body through another surgery if I may not need it.

Also I bought myself a bunch of Wondfo pregnancy tests online and will start using those this month. I've never been big on testing like I know a lot of other women are, but I think it's something I should be doing now to catch a Chemical Pregnancy (CP) if I have one. Plus knowing I'm not pregnant will make it easier when Aunt Flo finally decides to show her ugly face. It will still be hard like it is every month, but at least I'll know she's coming and make sure to have a bottle of wine on hand (or two!)

So I'll probably give another update after the appointment with the urologist. I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Talk to you soon!

Septate what?!

Hello! My name is Jessica and I'm 26 years old. My husband and I have been trying to conceive since April of 2011...it's been over 2 years now and it doesn't get any easier with time. Especially once I was diagnosed with a uterine septum. We finally decided to get fertility testing done and through this process realized that I have a very thick, deep septum dividing my uterus in half. I was told my chance of miscarriage was very high, as in 75% or higher. Even if I did get pregnant and make it to the 2nd trimester, I would still have a high risk pregnancy and potential complications like breach presentation, incompetent cervix, and preterm labor. Scary, right?

Here's a picture of the ultrasound prior to surgery:

As shocked as I was to hear this news, I was happy that this could actually be fixed. I had a hysteroscopy on January 14th which was meant to divide my septum and leave me with a "normal" uterus. After the surgery I felt pretty good and we started TTC again once I got my first period after the surgery. Then last week I went for a follow up appointment and had an SHG done (sonohystogram) which showed that the surgery was not completely successful, and that I still have about 25% of the septum intact. Fantastic. Could things get any worse?

On top of all of this we discovered that we are dealing with MFI (male factor infertility) and with our powers combined...unfortunately we don't make Captain Planet appear, or babies for that matter...

So now I just feel stuck. Should we continue trying even though there is still a septum that could cause complications? Should I rush to have another surgery? I'm not desperate (yet) so I think the 2nd surgery will wait, but I still think about TTC every day, wondering what other curve balls will be thrown our way.

So I decided to start this blog and maybe I'll find other women out there in the same or similar situation. Hopefully we can all achieve the thing we're hoping for, a family!